Gender Challenged

It turns out that Tiny Tim and Special Ed are now "Tiny Tina" and "Special Edwina". Underneath their furry coats, they are lacking. Who knew?

Critters come, and critters go.....

Spending part of my childhood growing up on a farm, you would think that I would remember and accept the fact that critters come and critters go.

The Tommy Boys continued to grow and remained inseparable. Nearly a month ago, the one I called "Kinky Tom" (because of the kink in his tail) just up and disappeared and has never returned. The one I called "Sweetie Tom" decided that I was his person and is still joined at the hip with me today. He adores the kittens and makes a great babysitter cleaning them, playing with them, and snuggling with them.

If you recall, Zippy Pinhead had more kittens a couple of months ago. I have to say, these have been the cutest litter she has had so far. Every morning I go out to the barn to feed the horses, muck out stalls, etc. I have gotten the biggest kick out of watching the kittens grow. This litter is all long haired, after their father "Harry Bastard" who comes and goes when the urge hits him. :-) Anyway, once their eyes opened and they decided to get out of the spare horse tank and play, they looked just like little remote controlled fur-balls going forward, sideways, and backing up. Of course I couldn't resist naming them all and did so with the help of my friend Barb. They became: "Tiny Tim", "Norton", "Special Ed", and "Nettie". As time passed, Norton became my favorite. If anyone were to come in the barn, they would think I was the crazy cat lady as at one time I had seven cats crawling all over me!

A few days after Kinky Tom disappeared, I went out to the barn to do my morning chores and only three of the kittens were there. Norton was missing, which was unusual as Norton had also formed a bond to me and was normally the first one besides Sweetie Tom to greet me in the morning. I looked all over the barn for him and thought that maybe he had gone up into the loft. So I climbed the ladder and looked in the loft to no avail. As I was coming down the ladder, I happen to glance at the horse tank. I prayed what I saw was only hay floating in the tank, but it wasn't. It was Norton. I screamed and pulled his lifeless little body out of the tank hoping that he had just fallen in, but I was too late. I felt my heart break yet again as I carried him up to the house cradling him in my arms.

Sobbing hysterically, I called my mom. Here I am, 47 years old and still calling my mom for comfort. Forgetting that I had been trying not to "spaz out" (as my mom so lovingly puts it), I completely lost it. Finally after a while, I was calmer. I sat on the back steps talking to Mom. Still crying, I looked up and noticed that Sweetie Tom was in the arena playing with something. I called to him and he got really excited and came running towards me with whatever it was in his mouth. He had a prize and wanted to share it with me. I told my mom what was happening and as Sweetie Tom approached me, he laid his prize at my feet. I thought he had caught a mouse or bird or something. But no, my prize was a big lump of horse crap! Mom and I started laughing. Yes, I have to agree that laughter through tears is one of the best emotions.

My friend Barb came out and helped me bury Norton. We buried him under a tree in the back of the acreage. Barb decided at that point it was probably a good idea for her to take Nettie home with her. Tiny Tim and Special Ed still remain with me (they are the kittens in the pictures).

The next day I looked out only to see my horse Cowboy taking a major dump right on top of Norton's grave.

I have come to the conclusion that this is God's way of telling me that "Shit Happens", get over it and move on. :-)

Posted in loving memory of Norton

Aug. 16-Sept. 24, 2009

October Birthdays

Well, happy birthday to Mom and my son Tyler! I am so behind with my blogs....I did get to see both my mom and Tyler this month and did get to wish both of them a happy birthday. Mom....you don't look a day over 60! Tyler....when the heck did you grow up? Can't believe this nice looking, sensitive, smart, and compassionate young man is 22 years old and single! Not that I think he could use a nice young lady in his life. (wink, wink) I am accepting all applications with an 8"x10" glossy, financial statement, and criminal background check! ;-)

Tyler also has an incredible knack of giving you the "stank eye"!

Snow Flurries????

Snow flurries my a**!!! I woke up yesterday morning to find 5 inches of snow on the ground. This, after hearing a forecast of "snow flurries that will most likely melt upon hitting the ground". I'm now thinking about becoming a meteorologist as this is the only job I know that you can consistently make mistakes and still keep your job!!! :-)

A Lesson In Electricity

There goes that "skip" in my brain again. It all started with the horses leaning over the electric fence and getting into the corn on the other side of the fence. I purposely positioned the electric fence 1.5 feet inside the barbed wire fence so that the horses would not lean on the fence and 1) injure themselves, and 2) get into the corn.

My friend Barb took me down to visit my mom in Topeka. While we were there we got a message from her husband stating that the horses had broken the fence and were in the corn. They had knocked down the electric fence and were in between the electric fence and the barbed wire fence having a hey day with the corn!

When we got home we fixed the fence, but still no jolt. It had to be grounded out somewhere. So we repeatedly walked the fence line trying to find the problem. Still no solutions.

The next day I went back out to try and figure this thing out. I kept touching the electric fence only to feel a slight shock. I've given greater shocks with my finger sliding across a carpeted floor in stocking feet. Frustrated, I concluded that it had to be my fence charger that had gone bad. Not happy, as those things are expensive to replace. So I headed into town to buy another.

When I got home, I hooked it up turned it on, and still NOTHING! Fortunately, in the past few weeks the OPPD guys have been out replacing the electric poles down the roads by my house. I have befriended them and they were working out in front of my house yesterday. So I decided to ask them if perhaps when they replaced the transformer it might have effected the electricity to my garage. They said that it would not have any effect.

So I told them my woes about the stupid fence and one of them came over to check voltage, etc. Everything was as it should be. He spent over an hour helping me to hook the fence up, replace the ground rod, etc. I kept touching the fence, and still nothing.

I spent the entire day trying to figure out what the problem was and calling my buddy Sparky (who is an electrician) in Michigan. Finally at the end of the day, I thought I would try one more thing. Still, it wasn't working. The OPPD guys were parked in front of the front pasture and saw me and asked if I got it fixed. Defeated, I replied "No." I walked over to the front fence and touched it. Hanging onto it with still no reaction, I said, "See?" Well, the youngest guy of the OPPD team came over and grabbed the fence and recoiled his hand in a second. He looked at me and said, "Geez! Did you hear the pop????!!!!!" I looked back at him and started laughing and said, "You've got to be kidding me. What? Are you a puss?" Of course his co-workers thought this was pretty hysterical. And the young guy just stared at me in disbelief. I asked him if he really got shocked and he exclaimed "YES!!!!" I touched the fence and still got nothing.

Finally I looked down at my shoes and jokingly asked if it could be the big rubber crocks I had on. They laughed and said most likely not, but encouraged me to take the shoes off and then touch the fence. I kicked off my shoes just knowing that the young kid was some sort of sissy boy, and proceeded to touch the fence. The results were entirely unexpected. The jolt I got from the fence about knocked me on my butt and I dropped the "F" bomb in vocabulary.

The OPPD guys were rolling by this point. And all I could think was I called the poor kid a puss, not to mention how embarrassed I was to have spent all day trying to figure out the fence, when all along it was working but I couldn't tell because I had big, ugly, rubber shoes on!! I wasn't grounded so of course I wasn't going to get a shock! So yep, there goes that "skip" in my brain again.

So the good news is that my old charger works fine and I get to take the new one back to the store and get my money back! :-)

More babies....

Zippy Pinhead had another litter of kittens...this is her 3rd litter in a year's time. She is such a ho. That's all I have to say about that.

The "Tommy Boys" are now four months old without a care in the world. They continue to hang out in the barn and frolic around the farm. Oh, what I would give to have their lives about now.... :-)

My Lucy Girl

What can I say about my Lucy girl? Lucy and I found each other at a Cowboy Mounted Shooting competition at the Circle C arena in Iowa Falls over the 4th of July in 2003. She was no bigger than a thermos, but despite that, she was larger than life. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her. She had these little poke legs and a big brain head. She had a perfect polka-dot on her back and a half-mask on her face that told me she would be a handful, and she was!

Lucy was the smartest dog I have ever owned. By the time she was 4 months old, her vocabulary comprehension was huge. She had over a dozen toys and knew every one of their names. One of my favorite stories about Lucy is the time we were playing the "name game". Every night when I went to bed, Lucy and I would play. All of her toys were piled in a corner of the room and I would ask her to bring me a toy from the pile. Whatever name I asked for, she would identify the toy and bring it to me. One night we were playing and I asked her to bring me the "piggy". She ran happily to the pile of toys, started to pick up the piggy, then looked at me and picked up the zebra. I told her, "No, I want the piggy." She put the zebra down, started again to pick up the piggy, then looked at me again and instead picked up the frog. Once again, I told her that no, I want the piggy and if she couldn't bring me the toy I asked for, then we wouldn't play. I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back into the bedroom, Lucy was lying on the bed with an ornery expression on her face and wagging her tail. I looked over at the pile of toys in the corner, and piggy was missing! It took me nearly a half hour to find the piggy. I discovered it hidden under a blanket under my bed. For whatever reason, Lucy did not want to bring me the piggy, so she hid it. That was only the beginning of her ability to rationalize.

Lucy had to have a name for everything and everyone, or she wouldn't leave you alone. And she never forgot anyone, no matter how long she went without seeing them.

She is the only dog I have ever known that you could reason with. She used to like to stand on my lap while I was driving and hang her head out the window. I would tell her to sit down and she would ignore me until I would tell her, "Either sit down or get over (in the passenger seat)". She would immediately sit down.

Lucy had three litters of pups. I kept two puppies, which I still have (Neuman from the second litter, and Sweet Pea "Petey", from the third litter). She was a wonderful mama and often appeared to view her pups as "toys". Her favorite thing to do to them was to stick her head underneath their bellies between their back legs and spin them.

She loved tomatoes, especially ketchup and pasta. She could also smell a Burger King a mile away. Her treat for being a good girl when she went to the store with me and sat in the truck was to go through Burger King drive-thru and get a cheeseburger with ketchup only.

As you can tell, Lucy wasn't just my dog, she was my family. I often referred to her as the daughter I never had. :-) From the time she was a pup, anytime I would put on my makeup, she would wait patiently until I picked up my blush brush and then she would come put her paws on my legs and hold her face up until I put blush on her too and told her how beautiful she was. She also had to wear her bandanna. Whenever I washed it she would see me folding it and would come running to have me put it back on her. Seldom did you see me without Lucy as she was my "go girl".

Yes, Lucy was larger than life. She taught me a lot about noticing the small things in life and approaching life head on. She was fearless...

Last Fall, Lucy started having problems with her right eye. I took her to the vet several times to no avail. She went blind in that eye within a couple of months. Then a month ago, the same thing started happening in her left eye. I went to a different vet this time and he told me he thought it might be glaucoma and sent me to a specialist. They confirmed it was glaucoma, but were hopeful that with eye-drops, the glaucoma would be controlled and her sight restored. Her eye got better for almost a week and then started to go blind again. So I took her back to the vet and they discovered that she was in a lot of pain with the first eye that had gone blind. The pressure was so bad in her eye that it had pushed her lens to the front of the eye. The only solution was removal of the eye. So we scheduled surgery for the following week. By the time we went in to have the surgery, the drops had failed to work in her left eye and she had gone completely blind and had stopped eating. She was dropping 1.5 lbs. a week. I was forced to make a very difficult decision.

Heartbroken, I decided to put my Lucy girl down. I couldn't bear the thought of her losing both eyes, and then starving herself to death. Lucy's sight was the core of her very being. She would not have been happy having to live blind, nor would she have ever adjusted to losing her independence.

Last Wednesday, I took my girl to the vet. We went early so I could take her through the Burger King drive-thru one last time and get her a cheeseburger with ketchup. When we arrived at the vet's office she was given a tranquilizer, and then the lethal injection. I made sure she still had her bandanna on as she lay dying in my arms. I thanked her for being my friend and for making me a better person. I told her how much I loved her, and also told her not to wait at the Rainbow Bridge for me, that I wanted her to go explore and have fun. I promised her that someday we would find each other again. So good-bye my dear Lucy girl, until we meet again.

Posted in loving memory of my Lucy girl.

June 2003-August 12, 2009

A special thanks to my dear friend Barb for being by my side through this whole ordeal. She's been my rock and I couldn't have made it through this without her.

Yutan Days

Last Saturday, Barb and I had the opportunity to ride in the Yutan Days parade. A couple of gals that live East of me often ride their horses by my house and happened to be riding by the prior week of the parade when they stopped and chatted with us for a while. They asked if we wanted to ride in the parade with them, and I hesitated as I have been afraid to ride with everything going on with my heart. It turned out that one of the gals is an RN! So I felt more comfortable in accepting their offer.

I got up early on Saturday morning and Barb drove out to meet me at the farm and trailer up Cowboy (we figured it would not be a good idea to put Ki in a parade just yet) and headed East down the road to our new acquaintance's (Vicki and Linda) place.

Linda and her husband Bill own the place, and Vicki keeps her beautiful Fox Trotter, "Fiddler" at their place. Linda has gotten into acquiring "rescue horses" and the horse she rides "Angel" is one of the rescue horses.

Linda was kind enough to offer one of her horses "Derby" for Barb to ride in the parade. Obviously, by the looks of Derby, he doesn't get ridden much. When Linda was describing him to Barb, she stated that Derby couldn't tip over if he tried as he is so fat! Derby was quite the character and he and Barb had a blast riding in the parade.

Cowboy was so excited to be out around other horses and PEOPLE. Every time the parade would stop for the little girls to do their dance, Cowboy would inch over to the sidewalk where the little kids were so he could lick them. I suspect he was inching more so to snag their candy they had collected from the parade participants!

Of course we were very last in the parade, due to the little dancers not wanting to tap dance in road apples!

It was a great day and we really enjoyed ourselves. So thank you Vicki and Linda for getting us involved!

Chemosabe rides again!

My friend "Sparky" came to visit me for a week Memorial Day weekend. Although he does not yet own his own horse, he has an avid passion for horses and riding. When I mentioned to him that Ki, my friend Barb's horse had some major issues, his eyes lit up and he welcomed the opportunity to practice his knowledge hands-on.

The story of Ki is that she came to live with us in April 2008 just after my friend Barb was diagnosed with Cancer. Barb rode as a kid and like me, had always felt that void not having horses in her life. So we stumbled upon Ki, Barb fell in love at first sight, and Ki came home with us. Ki was 5 years old at the time and "green broke". The truth of the matter is that we believe she had maybe one week of training on her. This does NOT constitute "green broke", rather a crap load of work!

So I spent a couple of months working with her last year training her to neck rein and foot cue. She was coming along nicely and Barb was riding her until one day, it was like Ki flipped out. She threw Barb into the arena fence, breaking her ribs. Barb didn't ride her again due to her broken ribs and chemo treatments. So between me having another heart attack and Barb being so sick, Ki has been pretty much a "lawn ornament". Any time we would try to saddle her and put a bridle on her, she would freak out to the point we were afraid she was going to injure one of us.

So, after hearing all this, Sparky felt he was up to the challenge. I was leery of him getting hurt, but he had total confidence. The first day he was here, he decided that he would ride Ki...and he did! It took one day in the round pen and after that she was submissive to Sparky. He rode her every day he was here.

Barb is very grateful as now she can saddle her own horse without fear. Sparky turned Ki completely around and she is a whole new horse. She stands calm while you saddle her and we changed from her bridle to a hackamore.

Barb now rides with confidence, and is able to enjoy her horse. So when we are both feeling up to it, "Chemosabe" and the "Cardiac Kid" ride around my little acreage. :-) There is nothing like the healing power of horses!

Horse Sense????

Last Friday the vet came out and gave the horses their annual shots. Everything went well and I thanked the vet for coming and bid him farewell until hopefully next year!

That evening I went out to feed the horses and put them to bed. I was startled to find Ki standing inside the barn when I opened the door. I blinked to make sure I was seeing what my brain was telling me I was seeing! Both horses were inside the barn, the part of the barn they are NOT supposed to be in. This is the part of the barn where I keep the grain, treats, meds, cat food, halters, leads, hog panels, shovels, rakes, etc. NOT a place for horses!

One of the numb nuts (most likely Cowboy) had gotten the latch unhooked on the door that goes out into the pen. Both welcomed themselves inside and proceeded to eat a half barrel of grain, an entire container of joint medicine, and half a bag of cat food. All which will kill a horse.

So I got them out of the barn and frantically called the vet and let him know what happened. It was nearly 8 p.m. so I knew that this was going to cost some $$$.

The vet came out and explained to me that he would have to tranquilize them and shove a hose up their noses and into their stomachs in order to administer a mineral oil concoction so the horses won't founder and die.

Cowboy got to go first. I nearly cried when the vet injected him with the tranquilizer. The look on Cowboy's face as the shot kicked in was heart-breaking as he looked to me for comfort. I assured him everything would be okay, and the vet continued administering aid.

I had never seen a horse tranquilized before, and believe me, its pretty pathetic. I was afraid both of the horses were going to fall down, but they didn't. Below are some pics of Cowboy and Ki looking like a couple of stoners!

Both horses ended up being okay but not happy about the fact that grain has been eliminated from their diets!

5/11....The saga continues....Once again I headed out for the barn tonight to put the horses to bed. Once again I opened the barn door to see two horses standing there. Once again, I called the vet in despair and total embarrassment to inform him that the horses did it AGAIN! Talk about feeling like an idiot.

So I am up tonight....checking the horses every hour to make sure they are okay. This time they didn't eat as much, but you never know. I had thought that I resolved the "getting into the barn" issue by securing the door to the pen. I thought the pulley door (top half of the door) was the problem. But when I found them tonight....the top half of the door was still secure. Cowboy (today he has been referred to with many, many names too profane to list here), learned how to undo the latch. I have learned my lesson in underestimating his "horse sense" and now realize that once a horse learns something if you don't want them doing it again, you have to change it completely.

The vet didn't come out tonight as he thought if I gave them some bute tonight and some tomorrow, they should be fine. So the watch continues.

Please pray for my horses so that when they get well, I can kill them. :-)

One Mother Finally Looses It!

After 52 years of motherhood, this woman surrendered completely to her nickname of "Crazy Jane". She was found early this a.m. collecting squirrels that had been hit by cars from the streets and chopping off their tails. When asked by the local police to put the knife down, she exclaimed, "I can't! I have to make all my grandkids 'Daniel Boone' caps for Christmas!"

Crazy Jane is now residing at the Tranquility Fruit Farm pending further evaluation.

Seriously, though, this is my beautiful mother, Jane.

Mom was kind enough to humor me when she visited me in April by allowing me to take these "Nick Nolte" pictures. Which is pretty much my point for this blog today.

Mom has always had the knack of making me laugh and making things seem so special. I love to tell the "Crazy Jane" stories because they show how creative and funny she is. When I talk about my mom to others, I always smile. I hope that Mom realizes how much I love her and how proud I am of her. Not everyone has the gift to make others feel so special and so loved.

One of my favorite "Crazy Jane" stories is the one about the pistachios. I had gone down to visit mom and arrived at her house as she was just coming home from the grocery store. I helped her haul in the groceries and was helping her put them away when I came across a plastic bag of pistachios. They were the kind that you scoop out of the barrel at the grocery store and buy by the lb. I asked Mom if I could have some (as I love pistachios) and she told me to help myself. So I popped a couple in my mouth and noticed that they didn't have much flavor and were kind of chewy. I mentioned this to Mom and she exclaimed, "Well, dammit! I hope I didn't get the ones that that little girl was sucking on and spitting back in the barrel!!!" I immediately started gagging and spitting them out in the trash can. I was in total disbelief and asked Mom why she would even think about buying them after seeing what the little girl was doing. Mom said, "Well, they were on sale and I thought I mixed them up enough so the bad ones would go to the bottom of the barrel!" Needless to say, pistachios no longer rank at the top of my favorite's list.

Mom has always been one of my touchstones in life. She has not always had it easy and somehow managed to single-handily raise four girls. I know that I, for one, was a handful to raise. Poor woman. She had four girls in five years. I, being the youngest of the four pretty much got away with murder as by the time I got to my teens, she was plum tuckered out from surviving the first 3 girls' teens!

So my Mom has served many purposes in my life. She has been an example of a strong woman who can survive anything. She has taught me compassion and unconditional love. She has shown me that laughter is always the best medicine. She has hurt my feelings when no one else would. AND she has always been my friend. She is indescribably special.

I think all of us could use a little "Crazy Jane" in ourselves. I know that I have inherited a lot of Mom's traits, and proudly recognize this about myself.

So....Happy Mother's Day Mom! And happy Mother's day to all the women in my life who have also been such great examples!

Today's Motherly Wisdom: Never put Minute Rice in a crockpot.